When I first meet with families, to help them plan their loved ones funeral, one of the main things they struggle with is the idea of choosing a poem or a reading.
I think there's a misconception that a reading or a poem at a funeral has to be religious, and whilst it can be, there are lots of amazing options that don't have religious connotations. You also don't have to have one at all, there are no rules.
The poem or reading could be something that has been written by a family member or friend, something that's really personal. My sister wrote a poem for both my. mum and dad's funeral. She didn't want to read it, so I read them. Both poems were really lovely and summed up my mum and dad beautifully. Lucy was very clear that she wanted to do this.
When I first meet a family, I always start with what ideas they have for the service, some have a very clear plan, maybe because their loved one has left instructions and others don't know where to start, or are unsure of what they can include. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes choosing what you want to include in a service to honour your loved one and ultimately the purpose of the service is to celebrate the life of their loved one, so I help families make the service as personal as possible.
The more I get to know a family and their loved one, then I can make suggestions based around what the person liked, what they mean to people or something suitable to their character.
There are some beautiful pieces of poetry available and below are some of my favourites, it's by by no means an exhaustive list, but it's something to get you thinking.
"All is Well" by Henry Scott-Holland.
"Dust if you Must" - Emma Jane Rae.
"I Thought of You Today"
"Afterglow" - Helen Lowrie Marshall.
"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" - Mary Frye
"Miss Me but Let Me Go"
"Family Tree"
Donna Ashworth writes beautiful poetry and I highly recommend visiting her website or looking through one of her books.
Some families will want to read the poem themselves, or ask a friend and others would prefer that I do it and either way is perfectly fine, but I always make sure that families know that if on the day it's too much, I can always step in and read it on your behalf.
If you would like to talk to me officiating at your loved ones funeral, then please contact me.
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