I take something different from every funeral that I do and those things stick with me, sometimes I end up implementing them in my own life. One of my favourite thing I've come across is the idea of giving a memory.
A while ago, I did a funeral for a lady and her family told me that one of the things that she did was to buy her grandchildren "memories". So for birthdays and Christmases, instead of a material gift, she would organise a day trip somewhere.
This really stuck with me as one of the nicest things I'd ever heard and I realised that (without actually realising it) my family have always done something similar.
My Mum would buy the four of us theatre tickets as a Christmas present and then we'd head off to London to see a show together. Afterwards we'd buy snacks and wine and sit in our hotel room for "suppertime bit" where we'd talk about the show we'd just seen, who we liked the best, what songs we'd like and plan for the next trip, we'd then play the soundtrack all the way home. My sister and I can still sing all the words to the "Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat" soundtrack.
After Mum died, Dad decided that it was a ridiculous that as an extended family we only got together at funerals, where everyone said things like, "oh, we really should make more of an effort". My Dad decided to introduce a yearly family party, and because it was my Dad organising it, it would be totally over the top. A hog roast, an Abba tribute band, an Elvis impersonator... you get the picture.
Lucy and I carried on this tradition, although COVID stopped play for a while.
Also, for Christmas, I've bought Lucy a couple of "memories", stuff I know we will enjoy and talk about for years to come and Lucy has done the same for me. She's made me block out a couple of days next year for a trip and I have no idea what we are doing.
For our goddaughter's birthday, we all went to London to see "Matilda", it was Eve's first West End show, and it was so special to get to witness a trip to London through her eyes... her favourite bit (apart from the show) was getting in a London Taxi for the first time!
So, this year when you're planning your Christmas shopping or it's someone's birthday, why not buy them a memory? Doesn't have to be a fancy day trip, just something you'll enjoy doing together.
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