I always ask couples whether they want to say their own vows, or repeat traditional times. Most of the time, they say "oh we'll just repeat ones, we'd have no idea what to write" I always gently encourage them to give it a go. So in this blog, I'll give you some tips on how to write your own wedding vows.
Your vows are a chance to tell your partner how you feel, what you love about them the most. This really helps the ceremony feel just about the two of you.
I do understand that for some people, putting their thoughts onto paper doesn't come easily, so here's my top tips.
1) Don't leave it to the last minute.
Aim to write them about a month before the service, this gives you the chance to go over them a few times, make changes and rehearse them, so that by the time the big day comes, you feel comfortable saying them.
2) Make notes.
Before you start writing, make notes of everything you love about your partner, the things that make you smile, why you fell in love.
Don't worry about sounding corny, your vows are a chance to be sentimental and honest about how you feel.
Making notes will also give you the opportunity to decide what are the most important things, don't try and include everything.
3) Be Inspired.
If there's a scene from a film, or TV show, or a line in a poem or book you like then use that as a starting point.
It might be that there's a quote or something your partner always says to you, you could even include that.
4) Practise.
Writing them a few weeks beforehand will give you the chance to practise, read them out loud, get comfortable with the words.
Work on how they sound, practise the intonation of your voice and where is the right place to pause, maybe practise in front of a family member or friend.
5) Keep them a secret.
Don't let your partner see them, they'll have far more of an impact if your partner hears them for the first time on the day.
6) Make a copy for the ceremony.
It might be you give a copy to the celebrant officiating the service, that way you don't have to worry about remembering them on the day.
You could have them on cards, or you could put them in a nice folder, so that it looks good in the photos.
7) Things to Include.
These might seem obvious, but they make for a good starting point.
Remember to say, "I Love you".
Make sure your partner knows you'll always be there for them, no matter what happens.
Tell personal stories, people want to know about your relationship.
Make a promise to your partner, it might be something serious or it might be something silly like always making them a cup of tea on a Sunday morning.
Whilst writing your own vows might seem daunting, just take it steady, follow the steps above and remember all it really is, is telling the person you love just how much you love them!
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