After my dad died, my sister and I found that we had a million and one things to do and we ended up calling it "making an America List". My blog explains why.
When someone you love passes away, one of the things no-one seems to mention is that there is always so much to do. Not only is there the funeral to plan, letting everyone know, not just family and friends, but various government agencies, banks, building societies, the DVLA, energy companies. The list seems never ending and it can feel a little bit overwhelming.
All of the above is on top of the fact that you're grieving someone you loved.
After my dad died and it was just me and my sister, we felt like we had a huge mountain to climb of things to sort and organise. Someone wanted one thing, someone else wanted something else and it felt like someone had sat us in a waltzer and was just spinning us around and around with no let up.
One day we found ourselves in floods of tears and neither of us knew what we were meant to be doing anymore. Once we'd stopped crying, we decided to make a list of everything that needed doing. We decided that we would keep the list where we could both see it and then in manageable chunks, we would do something and cross it off the list.
The first thing on our giant "to do list" was to try and sort out a holiday that dad had booked to America, flights & hotels needed cancelling. So the first thing on the list was....
SORT AMERICA
At that time, America had a certain President that caused a bit of controversy and every time we looked at the list, we'd laugh and joke that sorting out dad's affairs were one thing, but the whole of America might be a bit beyond our skillset.
The list became known as "The America List" and seeing everything written down in black and white, helped make things more manageable. On days when we felt overwhelmed, we would either pick a small task to do or ignore it and on days when we were feeling strong, we'd do one of the bigger / scarier tasks.
Crossing things off the list was hugely satisfying.
Eventually we got to the end of the America list.
Even now when we have a lot to do, we make an "America List" and it helps us order our thoughts and makes everything more manageable.
So, my point is, that whether it's after the loss of a loved one or in any situation where you feel a bit overwhelmed by the tasks at hand, make your own America List. Write down everything that you need to do and do what you can, when you can.
The list will make you feel in control of the situation and means you won't forget anything. It will also give you time to breathe.
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